So pornhub.com submitted a G-rated Super Bowl ad to CBS. It was promptly rejected.
(via tsarcasm)
The events of Django Unchained begin in 1858. Dr. King Schultz says he quit dentistry 5 years ago to become a bounty hunter, but it isn’t mentioned why. The obvious answer, however, is that his wife, Paula, left him, and he was so devastated that he took up a profession he would never think about otherwise, the profession that would ultimately lead to his death in 1859. His former wife slowly realizes her mistake in leaving Dr. King, and after 6 years apart, seeks him out, only to find he’s been killed at the hands of Calvin Candie. Devastated, faulting herself, she never remarries, keeping her ex-husbands name, and finally dies, alone, in 1893, when she is buried in the Lonely Grave of Paula Schultz, the same grave Beatrix Kiddo will escape from more than 100 years later.
(via tsarcasm)
—nominated
its time to devise a plan to steal an award for him
i know just the guy
Finally. The plot of the third movie is revealed.
(Source: logannathanielecholls, via wheniamamonster)
The official White House response to a petition to secure resources and funding, and begin construction of a Death Star by 2016:
By Paul Shawcross
The Administration shares your desire for job creation and a strong national defense, but a Death Star isn’t on the horizon. Here are a few…
Texts From Superheroes - Best of 2012
To ring in the new year here are our top 6 posts from 2012, with more to come in 2013!
(via fixingships)
![everyone-loves-the-sleigh:
guardian-mothernature:
imakethingsigrowthings:
hopetimelord:
youjustrealized:
At the beginning of the ride the ghost host (the narrator) says the only way to escape the mansion is to die, and he shows that he hanged himself. Near the end of the ride there’s a moment where the ride vehicle turns around backwards and you go off a balcony, which according to this theory represents you jumping to your death.
Before this part of the ride the ghosts are all trying to scare you, but afterwards they sing excitedly and invite you to party with them. (The Grim Grinnin’ Ghosts song.) The only human character in the ride, a groundskeeper, appears after the balcony drop. He faces toward the riders and seems terrified of you.
Could be totally accidental, could be an intentional subtlety by the designers, but either way you’ll never looked at that ride the same way since.
holy…mother of god…
yeah well if i wasn’t scerd of that ride before….
o_____________________________________________o
[muns about to lay a knowledge bomb on all of you. You die on every single themed ride at all of disneyland, with the exception of space mountain not during halloween.
Lets start with the basics.
Pirates of the Carribean- Simple enough, you are shipwrecked upon a dingy, after falling down a particularly nasty waterfall. You die and are sent to davy jones locker, passing through a grave yard of bodies, who eventually come to life to live out their fantasies. “this i made obvious by the dead men tell no tales, chant that is uttered throughout the entire ride.
Splash mountain- right before the drop all of the animals are warning you to turn back, that there is danger further ahead. Something perilous is about to happen. Why than after the fall, where it is made obvious that you fell into a pile of thorn bushes. That you end up in a wonderfull paradise where everyone is singing and dancing and having a wonderful day. Its simple, you died and went to heaven.
Finding Nemo- You run into a sea mine that detonates, dropping you the bottom of the ocean where you are surrounded by Angler Fish[ which has the acronym for angel in it]
Small World- this is the most subtle, you die somewhere towards the end of the ride. After contracting a malaria based fever in Africa causing you to hallucinate (which is why you see the animals on umbrellas. Your last stop is a magical land where every person of all races colors, and genders are singing and dancing in all white) once again signifying heaven
Mun will write more if people want him too]](http://24.media.tumblr.com/4349394d32db3fde0fa49c007b07168d/tumblr_mfymm4tLmB1rypl6fo1_500.png)
At the beginning of the ride the ghost host (the narrator) says the only way to escape the mansion is to die, and he shows that he hanged himself. Near the end of the ride there’s a moment where the ride vehicle turns around backwards and you go off a balcony, which according to this theory represents you jumping to your death.
Before this part of the ride the ghosts are all trying to scare you, but afterwards they sing excitedly and invite you to party with them. (The Grim Grinnin’ Ghosts song.) The only human character in the ride, a groundskeeper, appears after the balcony drop. He faces toward the riders and seems terrified of you.
Could be totally accidental, could be an intentional subtlety by the designers, but either way you’ll never looked at that ride the same way since.
holy…mother of god…
yeah well if i wasn’t scerd of that ride before….
o_____________________________________________o
[muns about to lay a knowledge bomb on all of you. You die on every single themed ride at all of disneyland, with the exception of space mountain not during halloween.
Lets start with the basics.
Pirates of the Carribean- Simple enough, you are shipwrecked upon a dingy, after falling down a particularly nasty waterfall. You die and are sent to davy jones locker, passing through a grave yard of bodies, who eventually come to life to live out their fantasies. “this i made obvious by the dead men tell no tales, chant that is uttered throughout the entire ride.
Splash mountain- right before the drop all of the animals are warning you to turn back, that there is danger further ahead. Something perilous is about to happen. Why than after the fall, where it is made obvious that you fell into a pile of thorn bushes. That you end up in a wonderfull paradise where everyone is singing and dancing and having a wonderful day. Its simple, you died and went to heaven.
Finding Nemo- You run into a sea mine that detonates, dropping you the bottom of the ocean where you are surrounded by Angler Fish[ which has the acronym for angel in it]
Small World- this is the most subtle, you die somewhere towards the end of the ride. After contracting a malaria based fever in Africa causing you to hallucinate (which is why you see the animals on umbrellas. Your last stop is a magical land where every person of all races colors, and genders are singing and dancing in all white) once again signifying heaven
Mun will write more if people want him too]
(via fixingships)
"
A few years ago, at a Las Vegas convention for magicians, Penn Jillette, of the act Penn and Teller, was introduced to a soft-spoken young man named Apollo Robbins, who has a reputation as a pickpocket of almost supernatural ability. Jillette, who ranks pickpockets, he says, “a few notches below hypnotists on the show-biz totem pole,” was holding court at a table of colleagues, and he asked Robbins for a demonstration, ready to be unimpressed. Robbins demurred, claiming that he felt uncomfortable working in front of other magicians. He pointed out that, since Jillette was wearing only shorts and a sports shirt, he wouldn’t have much to work with.
“Come on,” Jillette said. “Steal something from me.”
Again, Robbins begged off, but he offered to do a trick instead. He instructed Jillette to place a ring that he was wearing on a piece of paper and trace its outline with a pen. By now, a small crowd had gathered. Jillette removed his ring, put it down on the paper, unclipped a pen from his shirt, and leaned forward, preparing to draw. After a moment, he froze and looked up. His face was pale.
“F***. You,” he said, and slumped into a chair.
Robbins held up a thin, cylindrical object: the cartridge from Jillette’s pen.
"—
So, so good. (via cajunboy)
This’ll make your day.
(via leitch)
(via shlabam)
all my OTPs sittin’ in a tree
HO-MO-SEXU-ALITY
first comes love
then comes marriage
thanks obama
you’re welcome.
(Source: the-family-kenway, via victoryboat)
Hey Tumblr, did you know that there’s a full video of that GIF of Bruce Lee playing ping pong with nunchucks?
Spoiler alert: The rest is even better.
Because our 24/7 news media can’t actually do journalism, CNN, MSNBC, FOX and others have all just helped ruin someone’s life because they posted headline pictures of the wrong fucking Ryan Lanza.
Facebook groups calling for his death have already been created. Apparently it’s now open season on anyone named Ryan Lanza. Share this so people stop having blood vengeance for whoever this guy is.
Holy crap.
Pitchforks and torches only hurt the innocent.
Are you fucking kidding me?
What Skyrim Looks Like When You’re Running 100 Mods At Once
(via tenebriseme)
She’s the popular girl Gotham deserves, but, like, totally not the one they need right now.
(Source: youtube.com, via fixingships)
